The Inner Turmoil

One of the toughest and most difficult battle that each one of us has to fight is within ourselves. Every person has certain strengths and weaknesses. Along with these traits are the fears and the inner demons within ourselves. Lets face it, all of us have faced some tough situations when we feel that we just cannot perform or live through that moment. The inner demons within yourself seems to engulf you in its shadow and you start to feel like a nervous wreck. You know that you have no choice but to face that situation and no one except you has to deal with that situation and that too all alone. You somehow gather your strength and face that situation. There is no running away or hiding your head under the ground that time.

Facing these situations make you strong and tough in the long run. They give you the solace that since you have faced something like this before, you can face something similar later on. The biggest solace our heart seeks is by comparison of previous difficult and stressful situations that we may have encountered with earlier. We tend to compare the gravity of both the situations and arrive at the consolation that things can never get worse than this. Once we think like this, we tend to gain the inner courage and strength to face the present situation at hand.

Yes, it does depend from person to person as to how you chose to deal with such a situation and how strong you are to concur your fears and anxiety. Some people seem to show no emotions from outside but might be going through a nervous breakdown mentally, while there are some who might seem flustered from outside but might be mentally composed. There are some who prefer to vent out their fears and anxiety to people they trust and let them provide the solution which might be best in such a situation while there are the others who keep their thoughts including their fears and inner demons within the closed confines of their cognitive processes and no one comes to know what is going on their minds.

The human body has two facets to its existence. The body i.e the physical aspect and the feelings/soul i.e. the mental aspect. A healthy person is one who is both mentally and physically in equilibrium with each aspect of his existence. A person who is physically unhealthy be it for whatever physical ailment he's a victim of; will suffer mentally as well due to certain ineptness he may have to face in the day to day functioning and adeptness of the body with the surroundings. This will also apply vice versa to people who might be under a mental strain and this strain will manifest in detriment of the physical attribute of that person.

A person's test of character and girth is not in the times of monotonous and routine functioning but in the times of distress and difficult situations. Life is but a journey wherein we get the good and bad. Is it in equal measures? Well, I don't know.

Black December

I don't know her real name. I don't know anything about her life. All I know is that she was like me, a girl, a 23 year old Indian girl. She too had dreams, of a career, of a beautiful life ahead and thought her city was safe enough that she could return back home when she left her house in the day. I can't express how deeply saddened I am by her death, what was done to her and the pain she had to suffer. She could have been anyone I know, my friend, my sister, my acquaintance. I am feeling a void in my heart as I would feel if I lost a loved one. She suffered so much yet wanted to live. Such a courage is a rarity. She was so brave that she fought to survive for thirteen days after the brutality meted out to her.

The injuries caused to her were so grave that the best medical attention could not save her. This just evidences the fact that she had to endure so much of pain that my mind is incapable of even imagining. When I read what was done to her, my mind is filled with such contempt and disgust that people are capable of committing such barbaric acts to fellow humans. The accused are not men but are the lowest form of immorality who are not deemed fit to live in a civilized society and are a threat to humanity.

She will not live to celebrate her next birthday nor will she see the new year. I knew her condition was extremely critical but I had this inner optimism that she would somehow survive just like they show in the movies. But real life is not a movie. Endings are not happy. This is a real life incident which happened in the capital city of the world's largest democracy and the second most populated country. A country which is so crowded yet was deaf to hear the screams and blind to see the torture done to her on its roads. My mind is not yet ready to accept that such an heinous crime was actually committed. It is disgusting, shocking and a blot on this country, the government and the people. At least I feel I am not the only one who feels this way.

My heart goes out to her family who saw their daughter / sister in such a state which no parent / sibling would ever want their loved one to be in. My blood boils with anger that we are a nation where incidents like these occur and nothing is being done about it. She has left us physically but she has left behind a cause for which we need to fight. It's high time that the government and law makers stop talking and start acting. It is a black new year for this country and a national shame.

I wish I knew your name. Amanat, Nirbhaya or Damini, by whatever name you may be called, you are the bravest and the most courageous. May God bless your soul and may you get peace in heaven. The earth has lost its glory and humanity and you are much safer wherever you are. R.I.P.

National Shame Once Again

I am aghast, appalled and shocked beyond words at the atrocity being done on women in this country.  I am filled with such utter contempt and shock at the inhuman manner in which a young 23 year girl was gang raped and beaten and left to die on the roads of Delhi. I am feeling a sense of such desperation and my mind cannot even fathom the trauma and shock she must have gone through. All I know is through the media, no one knows what heinous acts the rapists did to her. How can people do such inhuman treatment to other humans? She was raped numerous times by different men and beaten up and tortured. Do these rapists not have mothers, sisters and wives? How would they feel if some other man did that to the women in their lives? Who gave these brutal animals the right to touch another person, to molest her, to rape her? As I read up the news about how brutally she was molested, raped and beaten, I feel a sense of nausea and disbelief that humans are capable of committing such torture to innocent persons. What was her crime? Her only crime was that she is born a woman in a country like India where women are still being subjected to such inhuman behaviour.

This is a country where the Government is inept and immune to such happenings. Forget learning from past history, no measures are being taken to ensure that women feel safe in their cities. When has rape not happened in Delhi? Every other day, I read of rape cases in the national capital. Considering that the city is unsafe for women, why are measures not being taken by the Government? Why is it that we all just say Delhi is the rape capital and so unsafe? Why is no action being taken by the Government? If the Government is so inept and incapable of ensuring the safety of women in their city, they should probably issue a notification stating "Please venture out at your own risk. We cannot ensure your safety in your own city and whatsoever that may happen to you is entirely your own responsibility and we cannot be held liable for the same". I think no lesson has been learnt by the Delhi Police / Government. Forget Delhi, is any city in India safe for women? We hear of rising crimes and rapes in almost all cities. Recently there was a rape case of a Spanish woman in Mumbai in which the thief broke into her house and robbed her and raped her. Are women even safe in their homes?

Every time a rape case comes to light, the media goes frenzy and news hour debates take place on news channels and 24*7 headlines are issued. But for how long? A week, a month? What happens after that? Does anybody even bother to check whether justice is being done? What is the state of the victim? Apart from her family and her, no body can understand the sensitivity of the crime and the trauma she has to go through. Candle light vigils/ protest marches all are being done after every such incident but what is the outcome of such actions? Will our deaf Government give the women of this country a guarantee of safety? Will it ensure that such crimes are not repeated again? There were protest marches in Ireland too against the abortion laws after the death of a woman. Yes, the Ireland Government listened to the public and has taken action against such laws. Why can't the same thing happen in India?

I can think of no other crime more horrific than rape. The incident leaves the victim shattered and no matter what the world says that time heals, no time can heal the wounds of rape. It is the most disgusting and inhuman act that can ever be done to a woman. It can tear her soul and her mind and she might be left incapable of doing anything in her life. The mental trauma of a rape victim cannot be described by anyone apart from her and I will do no justice if I sit to elaborate on that. In my personal view, I feel deeply saddened by the pain such a woman goes through at the moment of the incident and after that. In a country of ours, the society views such victim with sneer and ridicule rather than supporting her and punishing the perpetrators. I just read about another rape victim who is stated to have no job, no support from society and she lives in a state of misery and cannot even put up meals for her two children.

We even hear of a certain community which says that such rapists should have the option of marrying the victim. Do they think by marrying the victim, their crime is neutralized? Why should the woman marry such a disgusting and barbaric creature? Who are these people to even think of such a ridiculous law? Why can't we as a decent, educated nation be more sensitive to victims of rape? Even if the rapists are punished, can it reverse the ordeal and trauma of the woman? Can it give her mental state and happiness back? No, it can't!

The only way out to end this brutality is give such a deterrent punishment to the rapists that men will think twice before even thinking to rape a woman. Nothing less than capital punishment should be awarded to rapists. The IPC provides minimum punishment of 7 years and upto life for rape and minimum punishment of 10 years RI upto life for gang rape. This is not a deterrent for rapists who think they will get away with their crimes. Many cases go unreported and many a times the police treat cases as closed because of their inability to find the culprits. Rather than helping the victims while filing the FIR, the police pass sneering remarks and lewd comments which further humiliate the victim. I would like to state that court proceedings of rape cases are very insensitive as the defence usually ask humiliating details regarding the horrific rape. The victim not only undergoes severe trauma at the time of the incident but also throughout the whole proceedings. Being a lawyer myself, I know that the defence lawyers are doing their duty but seeing the sensitive nature of the horrendous crime committed, there is a need to ensure victims are given due respect and not humiliated any further, albeit in the name of justice. Chemical castration is another punishment that is being given in several countries. Why not introduce the same in our country wherein the number of rape cases are on the higher side compared to other nations?

Something needs to be seriously done to ensure women safety in this country. We CANNOT be treated and subjected to such heinous crimes! We need to feel safe when we go out in the city and we need to be reassured that we will return home safe. If nothing is done by the Government this time around, there will be another rape and gang rape followed by outbursts of citizens and no substantive action.

WE DEMAND ACTION AND WE DEMAND IT NOW!

 

The sweetest lines penned for me by my bestie

Leo club party night,
Two friends came into each others sight,
The party was amazing, fun and crazy.
But the party is not exactly the thing to remember,
It was the journey in the last train now that I come to wonder.

But you are always the lucky charm,
We got the cab without any harm.
Our Marine Drive meets will live forever,
Secrets of our lives will be revealed never.

College got over and more time lapsed,
That makes bonding friendship perhaps.
Everyone says I click good pics,
But how do I know, I just click.

Friends reunions are meant for best shot,
Girls just like it and love it a lot.
I'm not a professional to click the best,
Magic works just for friends, else its a waste.

University is one of our favourite destinations,
And today we went to your Felicitation.
I'm so happy on this great occasion,
And I promise our friendship will never ever see a recession.

You are more than a best friend to me,
You are a flower and I'm a honey bee.
There are still many memories remaining to be written,
It needs more rhymes and I'm not that bright.

In life, a wish I have one and only,
Don't want to stay away and lonely.
Knowing you is right and true,
And I don't want anyone else to replace you.
 

Kabhi Kabhi Aditi

There is a song which I call my song or Aditi's song. This song has my name in it. I tell all my near and dear ones that they should sing me this song when I'm sad or unhappy. Today, I feel like just penning down few lines from this song.

Kabhi Kabhi Aditi zindagi mein yuhin koi apna lagta hai,
Kabhi Kabhi Aditi woh bichhard jai toh ek sapna lagta hai,
Aise mein koi kaise apne aasuon ko behne se roke,
Aur kaise koi sochde everything's going to be okay..

Kabhi Kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi na khushi aur na mazaa,
Kabhi Kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa,
Aise mein koi kaise muskurai kaise has de khush hoke,
Aur kaise koi sochde everything's going to be okay..

Hey Aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara,
Nahin toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura..

Misc [one]

So after many months of working without a single holiday, in this month of August, I had two holidays. Independence day, 15th August and Eid, 20th August. 15th was a Wednesday, so had to go to work on Thursday and Friday. Had a nice three day weekend, from Saturday till Monday.

My brother is here and it was his birthday in the three day weekend, so it was all the more fun! I caught up on four movies - two in the theater - Ek Tha Tiger starring my all time fav actor since childhood, Salman Khan and The Dark Knight Rises. I hadn't watched the first part of the Batman series so I caught up on the first part - Batman Begins last night. And I'm glad I did because I wouldn't understand the whole story behind how Bruce Wayne becomes Batman et al. I had watched the second one of the series - The Dark Knight, but watched it as it is, as a solo movie rather than a series. Now it all falls into place. Well, I must say, impressive performance by Christian Bale and Chris Nolan, well you are a genius. After The Illusionist, I have nothing more to say except that you are one of the best and one of my fav directors. I watched Cocktail earlier in the evening.

And so, my three day weekend comes to an end, and its back to usual from tomorrow. At least I won't have the Monday blues but looks like I'm going to have Mardi blues!

Be like the Flowing River..

Wanted to share this beautiful poem by Manuel Bandeira:

Be like the flowing river,
Silent in the night.
Be not afraid of the dark.
If there are stars in the sky, reflect them back.
If there are clouds in the sky,
Remember, clouds, like the river, are water,
So, gladly reflect them too,
In your own tranquil depths.